On Being a COVID Bride...
Put yourself in this scenario: You are a little girl planning every detail of your wedding. You have always been a romantic and you never hid that about yourself. You finally find your prince charming after many frogs came and hopped off your lily pad- and you date Prince Charming for 4.5 years. You went years wanting to be engaged, and when it finally happened you planned the entire wedding in a month because saying “Yes” to him was the easiest thing you’ve ever had to answer.
Then, after the entire thing is planned, a pandemic hits the nation. Everything is shut down- you have to wear a face covering when you buy fruit from the store. All your friends are postponing their weddings but you just can’t wait to marry this man any more- and you don’t want to give up your dream wedding for a small, intimate ceremony because that’s just not you because you are a shameless princess who wants to be the center of attention on this day. You cancel your entire 2 week honeymoon abroad and you send out your invitations. When you see family and friends, you hear “so is the wedding still happening?” with a pity voice instead of “are you so excited about your wedding?!” with a joyful expression.
How would you feel? Would you cry? Would you feel frustration or just give in? Would you have an intimate ceremony and then plan a big reception for another year when the government doesn’t give you a guest limit?
I have cried one time, for about 2 minutes until I made myself stop because I was being ridiculous. Does it add stress planning my wedding day in the middle of a pandemic? Yes. Does changing my bachelorette party plans and cancelling my honeymoon sting a little? Yes, absolutely.
If I stop and let myself feel all of these emotions, all I think about are the negatives. The AirB&B deposits we can’t get back, the 2 week honeymoon in wine country and Hawaii that is cancelled because we would have to quarantine for 14 days upon arrival, wedding guests wearing face masks in the wedding video and photos we will cherish forever and show our children. The simple fact that I waited a very long time (4.5 YEARS) with Mack for this day and that this is MY WEDDING DAY is enough to drive me into a state of self pity too deep to pull myself out of.
However- I am not allowing myself to be negative. Everyone told me that planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things, and that as a bride, I would be so stressed out for the months leading up to the wedding. I 100% disagree- I have felt minimal stress, even while planning during a pandemic. I think it’s because I planned the entire thing in the first month, and since that, we have been able to truly relax and enjoy just being engaged. Here we are- 67 days out, and I am pulling together the minute details and having a BLAST doing it.
I am not stressed because this is my wedding day. I have accepted that I will forever be a COVID bride. I will forever have to say I got married in 2020 and for the rest of my days, people will say “wow how was that?”. It’s not “normal”. But what’s so terrible about having a wedding now? Is this not the best example of life? Making plans and thinking things are going to be a certain way, only for everything to be flipped on its head? So, instead of sitting in a puddle of my own tears and feeling so sad for myself that “my wedding and honeymoon is ruined”, I am choosing to feel so blessed because:
Our honeymoon may be cancelled- we are rescheduling the exact same trip for our 1 year anniversary. Instead of our 2 week super fun honeymoon, we are planning a local honeymoon that will be MUCH cheaper and much more intimate. We are looking forward to a more intimate time instead of a fun packed honeymoon.
Our guests love us so much they haven’t let this pandemic stop them from celebrating with us. Only the ones who were invited who LOVE us the most will be there- only the ones who would show up in a pandemic are the ones we want there to celebrate!
Our venue is allowing us to keep everything as normal as possible.
Our wedding year will be documented in history- a wedding during a pandemic sure makes quite a story for the grandkids!
Our family and friends are healthy- everyone is alive and well. We are so blessed and thankful for that.
Mack and I have learned so much about each other while going through this and it has made us even better friends than before.
My wedding day is still the same. I could have postponed, but I made the decision to not cancel this day just because there is a pandemic. Instead, I am choosing to marry this man in the middle of the pandemic- if that doesn’t speak to an everlasting marriage, I don’t know what will!
xoxo, jess
